I remember sitting in that culvert next to the concrete pipe where the storm drain spilled into a mess of cat-tails. It was sunny and the concrete felt warm. There was a foam that churned out of the water that I thought might be a natural soap -- so I'd wash my hands in it, even though it smelled like slag and sulfur. It was such a long time ago, but since then, I still don't know much more about having and only a little more about loss.
Yes I am eager to see each day, but it doesn't mean I am any stretch better. It is simply a choice and a resolve.
* * *
I looked into your eyes and you were so'er afraid that maybe you wouldn't know how to be. But really it was just to you that I was looking in an earthly way and not my imagination of someone with heaven for eyes.
It felt warm, like when you get into a car on a winter's day and there is just enough sun to make you realize how love feels behind the glass and just how it might feel on the other side.