Michael Munas (michaelboy) wrote,
Michael Munas

Who in the world I might be*

One of the best things about keeping a journal, is that when I read what I've written in the distant past, I'm always so taken by just how much I have changed.

Taken in immediacy, this inexorable march of character is imperceptible -- like the growth of a head of hair or the physical aging of the body. Yet, when I look at this poem (which I wrote nearly ten years ago), my first impulse is to rewrite it. But then in the next minute, I feel that I would betray my past if I did.

Silly head, I'd like to think I'm more mature now, but other than in a chronological sense, I doubt it.

How you Sleep

Still, I often wonder how you sleep
In my small cradled notion of you
It is this, I wish to know and keep

My heart is never sure as to why
I yearn to know if you curl your leg
The moment when slumber settles nigh

Do you clutch a soft pillow at night
and nuzzle it warmly against to you
or gently rustle, as a small baby might

Would your lip curve as I was spying
or your brow go slumbering-smooth
as if you... you had just finished crying

As the fire of this day dies unseen
does that ember of you still glow
and all pretense wash away clean

More than touchable knowing deep
I look for this in my head because
Still, I often wonder how you sleep

* * *

*Upon her small white bed
I fell into a dream
You sat up all the night and watched me
To see who in the world I might be
~ Joni Mitchell, Rainy Night House
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